In a city known for its bright lights, domestic violence remains largely hidden within immigrant communities, particularly among women whose visas are tied to their abusive partners.
The Comites of New York, the Committee of Italians Abroad, has decided to confront the issue head-on, launching a public initiative made possible by a private donation that, within just two weeks, allowed the organization to host two events and provide immediate assistance to several women currently experiencing abuse, who came forward in strict confidence.
The two back-to-back meetings, with a third scheduled for the coming months, brought the issue to the forefront of both the Italian and broader international community. The Comites deliberately chose non-institutional, easily accessible venues to reduce barriers of shame, judgment and fear—obstacles that often prevent victims from seeking help. The strategy worked: attendees felt comfortable listening, asking questions and learning about a problem that is not only personal but deeply social, while experts offered practical tools and resources for immediate use. Thanks to private funding, the Comites was able to intervene rapidly in serious cases involving women with no financial independence, no family network in the United States and visas dependent on their abusers.
The importance of the donation was underscored by Comites President Enrico Zanon:
“I am truly pleased that the Comites recognized the need to address an issue like this. And I am very grateful to the donor: without funds, this program would have been much more challenging.” A view echoed by Claudia Carbone, Chair of the Civil Rights Commission, who emphasized the role of men in combatting abuse: “Having men as allies in the fight against domestic violence is essential, because this battle cannot be carried forward by women alone. It requires a shared cultural shift, teaching boys and girls to recognize healthy love based on respect, boundaries and reciprocity.”
The events were moderated by television journalist Francesca Di Matteo, who opened the discussion with a question taken from a children’s book—“What Is Love?”—to highlight the importance of early prevention. A powerful video message from Giallo magazine editor-in-chief Albina Perri documented the ongoing wave of femicides in Italy, stressing “the need for adequate penalties, the urgency of reporting violence, and the importance of dismantling a culture that minimizes male violence and often accepts it as a cultural norm.”
One of the most moving moments was the reading of an anonymous letter written by an immigrant woman—victim of a pathological narcissist and alone in a foreign country—a stark account of manipulation, fear, abuse and silence. A series of expert and institutional contributions followed. Alessandra Sabbatini, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and family therapist, outlined the various forms of domestic violence, its effects on children and the complicated role media can play. Anthropologist and psychotherapist Leide Porcu examined the cultural roots of abuse—from toxic masculinity to patriarchal socialization—highlighting the specific vulnerabilities of immigrant families, often exacerbated by migration stress, isolation and economic instability. From the institutional side, Jenny A. Proano of the New York Mayor’s Office to End Domestic and Gender-Based Violence (ENDGBV) presented key protection tools: the Family Justice Centers (open regardless of legal status), the HOPE Hotline, and Respect First, a program for individuals who have committed violence. “It’s important to work with the abuser so they do not harm other victims,” she noted. Master Certified Life & Career Coach Francesca Carelli shared a personal testimony about recognizing emotional abuse in her own life, explaining the cultural patterns that lead many women to normalize violent behavior and offering practical tools to rebuild identity and self-esteem. The evening concluded with poet and writer María Isabel Dicent, whose readings transformed the emotional dimension of the event into a moment of collective connection. The Comites’ initiative had begun earlier with the event “Breaking the Silence: Empowering Voices, Inspiring Change,” also moderated by Di Matteo, featuring: Jessica Earle Gargan, Judge of the Queens Supreme Criminal Court; Daniela Castro, Chief Operating Officer at Lenox Hill Neighborhood House; Sara Martinez, Senior Economic Empowerment Specialist at Sanctuary for Families. The panel included video testimonies from women currently in situations of abuse and an in-depth discussion of protection pathways. Martinez detailed the Economic Empowerment program, which helps victims regain financial stability and independence through training and skills development. Castro explained the role of shelters and trauma-informed approaches.
Judge Gargan described complex cases, including instances where women—out of fear or threats—testified in favor of their abusers during trial, stressing the need to request an order of protection at the first warning signs, regardless of marital status, and to report suspicious behavior to the police.
The closing remark of the two-panel initiative came from Francesca Di Matteo, resonating strongly with the audience: We are the first generation of moms to say: “I left for my kids” instead of “I stayed for my kids”
The Comites has announced that the initiative will continue in the coming months with additional meetings and support tools. The goal, they stress, is to ensure that no immigrant in a city as vast as New York feels alone. And to remember that, sometimes, a single donation doesn’t just fund an event: it creates a way out, a new beginning, a life saved.
