He was known for playing Tony Soprano—a brutish, selfish, abusive thug, a criminal and philanderer and cold-blooded killer. But there were miles of real estate between James Gandolfini and the character that made him famous, as anyone who knew Gandolfini could tell you.

So on this, the 10-year anniversary of his untimely and unexpected passing, we spoke to more than two dozen of his costars, collaborators, and friends, to get a better picture of the real James Gandolfini. They agreed on many things: his warmth, his generosity, his sense of humor, his intensity as an actor. The only thing they really split on was what to call him.